The Crystal Pool of Gratitude

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 The Crystal Pool of Gratitude

the crystal pool of gratitude

The Crystal Pool of Gratitude

I am drenched

Covered in chaos

Distilling feeling

Filtering sensation

Deciphering such

Impossible meaning

Through sweaty pores and metaphorical dreams

Unabashedly I scream.

 

Cannot stop

This total organism trembling

Skeleton shaking

Throat gasping

Flooded

By my own eyes

Unbalanced I must

Cease talking and make way for relentless teeth chattering.

 

I sense my gut

Un-tethering

My pelvis

Un-wounding

Embracing a kind of

Infinite undoing

A longing to untangle

The cellular imprint of a soul’s memory.

 

Wading beyond the quiet fog

Survival’s brilliant numbing

Into the swells of inner currents

This emotion

Experienced

In slow motion

Finally everything is surfacing

In real time my spirit explodes.

 

Molten rock emerges hot

Years of gripping

Now bursts

The skin along the seams

Arbitrary separation

Body and spirit no longer split

Mud and sticks now mixed

Future and past collide.

 

Witness now

All 3 aspects

My consciousness

Aligned

Sense the subtlety

My circulation

Liquid pooling

Magma cooling.

 

Drop the idea of how

This should be

How I should be

Down and disappearing

Into the swirling

The void of forgotten

Expectations

Encounter the candlelit cavern of recovered inspiration.

 

I paint my pathway out

Colors, fins and curves

Gifted

This millionth,

This perfect, second chance

Archaic grief pours

Like water, like a waterfall spilling

Into the crystal pool of gratitude.

 

Part rupture, part rapture

Such bittersweet relief

Ritual of release

Embrace exhaustion

Empty

Open

I recognize the purpose

Beauty is exquisitely broken.

 

Weightless feathers float

Along the water of awakening

Breath by breath

Again and again

I call upon

The Remover of Obstacles

I reconcile at last

The transcendence of human loss.

 

Remembering the method:

I practice

Simply watching

The rhythm of a heartbeat

Skin pulsing, heat sensing

Gravity and bones

Sky and ground

Nowhere else but now.

 

Encircled

By all that is seen and

All that is forever unseen

The ecstasy

Of falling

The teachings of the elements

With unclouded clarity

Intuition reverberates within.

 

From the wellspring of all

That only knows living

That only fears dying and

That miracle,

Which is yet to be born

Carved like cycles

Our resilience, this unending magnificence

I make a requisite leap of faith into the coming dawn.

***

The Crystal Pool of Gratitude was written by Molly Boeder Harris. Molly is the Founder and Executive Director of The Breathe Network as well as a certified yoga instructor teaching private and group classes for the general public and for survivors of sexual violence. You can read about Molly’s work with trauma survivors via the holistic practice of yoga by visiting her practitioner page or her website.

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